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My subject for the tossin': The "musical" figures of today. The other day, I was in a public bathroom and I heard
a sound. It was some guy taking a huge dump. When I left the bathroom, I heard the latest single from Fall Out Boy. The crazy
thing was.... IT WAS NEARLY INDISTINGUISHABLE FROM THE GUY'S POOPING!! I can't believe that guy was getting away with it.
You'd think the band (and I use the term generically) would sue that guy's asshole for voiding the copyright in public. I
guess what I'm driving at with this long piece of fiction is that Fall Out Boy is not a good band. Their music is
equivalent to defecation noises.
| Of these pictures, which is the real Fall Out Boy? |
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After an automatic strike-out, next up to the plate is the Black-Eyed Peas.
First of all, they're not even a real band. They don't do anything. They're just another name used to sell phones that
double as MP3 players. Real people don't listen to them. If you do, first of all, why are you on my website? Second of all,
by listening to them, you're lying. Lying to every one you know. By partaking in something that isn't real, you're living
in a universe of lies.
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| Real black-eyed peas |
Now let's talk about My Chemical Romance.
Horse vomit.
Now that I've spoken (and you know I'm right), you should immediately put a Beatles CD on. If you own an iPhone, drive
a Hummer, and watch Grey's Anatomy, then my words have been meaningless to you, and there's no reason for you to be alive.
And Gnarls Barkley sucked, too.
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